It’s a major step in the wedding planning process — sending out your wedding invitations! It can also be a little tricky knowing what etiquette to follow when addressing your invitations, which is why we’ve put together this guide for our brides. A good general rule of thumb is that the outer envelope is more formally addressed than the inner envelope. We’ll also walk you through the traditional etiquette as well as some modern options that are acceptable as well.
A Married Couple With the Same Last Name
On your outer envelopes:
Traditional: Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Modern: Mr. Fitzwilliam and Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy
On your inner envelopes:
Traditional: Mr. and Mrs. Darcy
Modern: Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth
A Married Couple With Different Last Names
Start with the name of the person you’re closest with, followed by their partner’s name. If you are equally well-acquainted with both of them, list their names in alphabetical order.
On your outer envelopes:
Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres and Mrs. Portia di Rossi
On your inner envelopes:
Traditional: Mrs. DeGeneres and Mrs. di Rossi
Modern: Ellen and Portia
An Unmarried Couple Who Lives Together
Both names should be addressed on your envelopes, but on their own line. Again, start with the name of the person you’re closest with, followed by their partner’s name — and alphabetical order if you’re equally well-acquainted with both.
On your outer envelopes:
Ms. Lillian van der Woodsen
Mr. Rufus Humphrey
On your inner envelopes:
Traditional: Ms. van der Woodsen
Mr. Humphrey
Modern: Lillian
Rufus
Couples with One Distinguished Title
If one member of the couple has a distinguished title, address him or her first.
On your outer envelopes:
President and Mrs. John Kennedy
or
President John and Mrs. Jacqueline Kennedy
On your inner envelopes:
President and Mrs. Kennedy
Couples with Two Distinguished Titles
If both names don’t fit on the same line, use two lines, indenting the second.
On your outer envelopes:
Traditional: The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mr. Martin Ginsburg, Esq.
Modern: The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mr. Martin Ginsburg
On your inner envelopes:
Judge Ginsburg and Mr. Ginsburg
Couples with the Same Title
If you are addressing a pair of married doctors, for example, with the same last name, you can use the following:
On your outer envelopes:
The Doctors Webber
On your inner envelopes:
The Doctors Webber
If you are addressing a pair of married doctors with different last names, address them both, starting either with the doctor you know best or in alphabetical order.
On your outer envelopes:
Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Derek Shepherd
On your inner envelopes:
Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd
Families and Children
If you are inviting children, you can list the names of the children on the inner envelope but not on the outer. Boys don’t require a title until they turn 18, but young girls under 18 can be addressed as “Miss.”
It’s also important to note that if you don’t not address your envelopes to the family or include the children, it is implied that the children are not invited and your wedding will be an adult-only affair.
On your outer envelopes:
Traditional: Mr. Kanye West and Mrs. Kimberly Kardashian West
Modern: The Kardashian-West Family
On your inner envelopes:
Traditional: Kanye, Kim,
Miss North and Saint
Modern: The Kardashian-West Family
Children 18 and Older
Unless they live with their parents, they should receive their own invitations.
On your outer envelopes:
Ms. Kylie Jenner
On your inner envelopes:
Traditional: Ms. Jenner
Modern: Kylie
A Divorced Woman
If she doesn’t use her former husband’s last name, it is best to address her as either Mrs. or Ms. with her maiden name.
On your outer envelopes:
Ms. Nora Ephron or Mrs. Nora Ephron
On your inner envelopes:
Ms. Ephron or Mrs. Ephron
A Widow
Traditional etiquette dictates that when addressing a widow, you use her deceased husband’s first and last name. However, this is also a matter of personal preference and sensitivity, so if you’re not sure which she prefers, it is best to ask.
On your outer envelopes:
Mrs. Steve Irwin or Mrs. Terri Irwin
On your inner envelopes:
Mrs. Irwin
